April 4, 2007
Editor’s Note: This is the second in a four part preview of the ACC. Part One can be found here
Florida State
The good news for Seminoles fans is that after suffering years of mental and physical abuse from his son and offensive coordinator Jeff Bowden, coach Bobby Bowden finally relented and entered a halfway home for battered and abused women. And even better news soon followed, as Jeff was arrested and convicted of elderly neglect and sentenced to 5 years of house arrest and a discounted salary of $107,500 per year until the term is completed. Read the rest of this entry »
No Comments » | 
ACC, Predictions | 
Permalink
Posted by evang
March 31, 2007
Hope springs eternal on practice fields across America on the eve of a new off-season. Starting positions will be won and lost; some dreams forged, others shattered; and the Fulmer Cup standings are just beginning to take shape.
And so to completely destroy these fleeting notions of peace on Earth and goodwill towards men, I offer up this team-by-team analysis of the most hilarious, unpossible BCS conference around, the ACC. I’ll be doing this in four installments of three teams each, because let’s be honest, there’s only so much horseshit that even fans of teams in this conference can consume in one sitting.
Read the rest of this entry »
No Comments » | 
ACC, Predictions | 
Permalink
Posted by evang
March 29, 2007
Dear Hell 2 Da Naw,
I come reporting terrible news. Rice University’s football games are simply out of control. Their fans’ rowdiness, heathenry, and general impiety is so terrifying that I have vowed never to return to their den of sin campus. Now, in my twenty years as a superfan of Big XII powerhouse Baylor, I’ve seen some pretty crazy things, trust me. But nothing could prepare me for the myriad sins of the Owls. Read the rest of this entry »
5 Comments | 
ACC, Big Ten, Big XII, Mid-Majors/Independents, SEC | 
Permalink
Posted by bs
March 28, 2007
You know that familiar sound that comes from the stadium as you stagger towards it just as the game starts? Those drums you hear as you’re pissing into the trough during halftime? Those non-Zombie Nation songs that play during the game? That is your marching band. They dress like retards and take up a whole section of seats that are way better than yours. We have taken the time to carefully rank the five worst marching bands in existence.
Read the rest of this entry »
73 Comments | ACC, Big East, Big Ten, Big XII, Pac 10, Rankings | Permalink
Posted by Reggie Rembert
March 27, 2007
Today is my birthday, and I’ve found that as you get older, you begin thinking about your own mortality. As a child, you don’t seem to recognize your own impending death, but as you get older and things start going wrong with your body, you seem to realize it a little bit more every day. We’re no spring chickens.
Thus, if this topic is weighing heavily on my mind at the tender age of 28, then I believe we have our excuse for the recent shoddy performance of the Florida State Seminoles. Read the rest of this entry »
3 Comments | ACC | Permalink
Posted by proteus4994
March 25, 2007
Starting an annual tradition here at Hell 2 Da Naw, we have graded every team’s 2007 recruiting class. After weeks of careful deliberation, here are our top five recruiting classes.
1. Illinois. Everyone knows that Ron Zook single handedly won Florida the national championship. The only thing holding back Juice Williams in 2006 was his supporting cast, so to that end, the Zooker single-handedly willed two of his receivers to commit felony burglary charges in order to open more scholarships. Another brilliant maneuver by the master strategist. Read the rest of this entry »
8 Comments | ACC, Big Ten, Pac 10, Rankings, Recruiting, SEC | Permalink
Posted by bs
