August 24, 2007
Rumor has it that Mike Leach has taken up drinking again. Not really because of that Insight Bowl comeback since he planned it all the way (though I needed a stiff one after that). No, it was because for the first time in 3 seasons, his team wasn’t 1st in passing, wasn’t 1st in scoring in the Big XII, and hadn’t scored 70 points in a game during the season.
Leach is not depressed, though. He has a slew of quarterbacks to choose from. Those prima donna wide receivers have finally graduated themselves off of his roster. His defense is poised to fall into the bottom of the NCAA, maybe even last again! No, Mike Leach has the world exactly where he wants it.
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2007 Preview, Big XII | 
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Posted by SaxMaverick
August 24, 2007
Announcer: Last week, on Top Back…
CJ Gable: Listen man, I didn’t come to (expletive) camp to see myself off the two-deep. I’m gonna play this year man. I’m gonna play.
Emmanuel Moody: (Stafon) Johnson says you botched this week’s Safety Drill for the two of ya. You know Coach was lookin’ real hard at ya, and ya still blew it for your team. You know how that looks, you know.
Gable: He knows who’s the best, and that’s me.
Announcer: And Chauncey Washington tells us his thoughts on the latest Two-Deep…
Chauncey Washington: Man, feeling real good about that. I may be dinged up after practice, but Coach still knows who’s the best. I was the go-to guy last season, and Coach hasn’t changed that.
Announcer: We now go live to the Cutting Room, where USC Coach Pete Carroll is about to decide who will remain as a Top Back…
Pete Carroll: I’m about to read the names of 4 tailbacks on the roster. When I call your name, I want you to come up and take a USC Song Girl. That means that you’ll be staying for another week. pulls out list Chauncey Washington. CJ Gable. Stafon Johnson. Allen Bradford. The rest of you are backups.
Emmanuel Moody: Fuck it, I’m goin’ to Florida.
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1 Comment | 2007 Preview, Pac 10 | Permalink
Posted by coco13
August 23, 2007
I will make the comments available to the people if you have thoughts about Hell2DaNaw get ‘em out, but let me start by saying this: There is a 50/50 split with blame for Hell2DaNaw’s outright choke job.
Let me repeat that for you. Choke job. You want to see the definition of choke in the dictionary, you’ll see Hell2DaNaw. From the very top to Shooter McGavin, to the spammers in the comment. It is an out and out choke job.
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1 Comment | 2007 Preview, Big Ten | Permalink
Posted by coco13
July 26, 2007
If you don’t count lacrosse as a sport, Philly as a city has been sans championship for 20-some years. Their hero is a fictional boxer whose most famous match is a loss.
For a college football program, Temple is about as perfect as a match for Philadelphia as you can get.
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Posted by coco13
July 23, 2007
Editor’s Note: Because the Mid-Major writers of our own staff our too lazy, we have outsourced a few previews to certain generous posters from the Something Awful forums. Today “drunk leprechaun” teaches us about his Adopted Mid-Major, Tulsa:
When Tulsa moved from the WAC to Conference USA in 2005, Tulsa was expected to contribute more to basketball, not football. However, Steve Kragthorpe’s squad took the conference by surprise and won the conference in their first year. Kragthorpe has moved on to Louisville, but the Golden Hurricane has brought in several great coaches. Todd Graham was Tulsa’s DC from 2003-05 when he left for the head coaching job at Rice. He lead the Owl’s to their first bowl game since 1961, and has now come back to help Tulsa become a dominant program in CUSA West. He is joined by Gus Malzahn, the former OC of Arkansas who was part of the Springdale drama-bomb. This year he is supposed to implement his no huddle spread offense, but we all know how that went down at Arkansas. Herb Hand comes from WVU to be co-OC and o-line coach. It will be interesting to see what Tulsa can do with these shifts in the coaching staff, and if they can avoid any drama related to Springdale, Malzahn, and Arkansas.
Seriously that is a Golden Hurricane? It looks more like the offspring of Superman and a carrot.
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Posted by Tomek
July 21, 2007
Bob Stoops is looking forward to his 9th season as coach of Oklahoma and after last year’s debacles, is probably ready to get this thing started. The losses of Rhett Bomar, Adrian Peterson and against Oregon and Boise State made every fan find last year forgettable despite being the Big 12 champion. It also made them drunk - very drunk.
While Stoops’ appeal to ban trick plays has been denied, he still has much to look forward to this year. He leads a talented team versus a favorable schedule. Miami, Texas A&M, Oklahoma State, and Missouri all come to Norman. But they still have the stigma of faltering in their bowl games. The Sooners have had their fair share of shit sandwiches the past 4 years and I heard from a good source “they are tired of eating shit.”
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Posted by koomy
July 20, 2007
Michigan is fresh off its traditional end of season treat, back to back losses to Ohio State and USC. It has long been speculated that Lloyd Carr has massive gambling debts and can only repay them by continually losing the last two games of every season. Either that or he’s just a shitty coach, no one is really sure.
The 2006 season looked bright with an 11-0 start including a complete dismantling of Charlie Weis’ Fighting Irish; Michigan fans had hope. It wasn’t long before a matchup of two unbeaten titans, two powerhouses, two great rivals came to pass. Surely this would be the game that put us over the top, that ended the misery, that brought us forward into a new era of dominance! Unfortunately we’d forgotten one thing, one team was coached by Lloyd Carr, and the other by Jim Tressel. Also, Ohio State happened to have this guy named Troy Smith, but I’m doing my best to forget he ever existed. (This should be easy as long as I don’t watch the CFL)
All in all it was a very strong season considering Michigan had been 7-5 the year before, but losing to Ohio State (again) and in a Bowl Game (again) made it a largely forgettable year. Some signs of a bright future did present themselves, an attacking defense that crushed everyone… Except Ohio State. And USC. More talented young players on offense…who were often injured or booted off the team… The emergence of Alan Branch as an unstoppable rampaging monster…who promptly left for the NFL. And the arrival of much talked about 5* recruit Ronald Joh….oh he went to USC. Certainly it was a season of good and bad, delight and soul crushing disappointment, essentially the true Michigan football experience.
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No Comments » | 2007 Preview, Big Ten | Permalink
Posted by Marquis de Pyro
July 19, 2007
Give yourself to the Illini. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for… quarterback. So, you have a running quarterback. Your feelings have now betrayed him, too. Your coach was wise to hide him from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Illini… then perhaps he will…
If he could be turned, he would be a powerful ally.
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Posted by coco13
July 19, 2007
Utah and Boise State ruined everything.
Once upon a time, it was manly to stay up at night and wonder if the BCS Buster was a myth or something we’d actually witness in our lifetimes. Then Utah had to burst our bubble while Boise State came along shortly after to rub it in our face. Quite frankly, the very thought of another midmajor making it into the BCS this year sounds like a total yawnfest.
Unfortunately, with Colt Brennan’s announcement to return for his senior season, the Hawaii Rainbows seem to have a chance at doing it all over again this year. With a schedule like their’s, the question isn’t “Can they go undefeated?”, it’s “How will they celebrate?” After all, they’re currently planning on building a shrine to immortalize their glorious team of 1999 that went 9-4 with “an Iwo Jima-style memorial” to ensure “that Hawaii would never be forgotten in the history of NCAA football.”
We imagine they’ll immortalize an undefeated 2007 team somewhat like this:
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4 Comments | 2007 Preview, Mid-Majors/Independents | Permalink
Posted by Tomek
July 18, 2007
At Hell2DaNaw, we strongly believe in equality in college football. Upsets are what make the game great, so we like to pay tribute to the little guys. It can’t all be about traditional powerhouses like Notre Dame, Miami, Oklahoma, and Duke. As a result, our 2007 previews will go beyond the BCS conferences to include the rest of D-1A. And not just popular ones like Boise State and Rutgers. All of them. Every last shitty school.
On that note, this post will profile those Titans from Tiretown, the Akron Zips. It is a very difficult existence for the handful of MAC schools that operate in the shadow of Ohio State. Still, some manage to collect the leftovers and put together a somewhat competitive team. Usually one will crack the “other votes” section of the Top 25 polls or pull off a big upset like almost beating Michigan. Akron isn’t there yet, but I went undefeated with them in NCAA 07, so that’s enough reason for me to be optimistic about their prospects for this season.
Fear the Roo, Bitches!
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1 Comment | 2007 Preview, Mid-Majors/Independents | Permalink
Posted by Shooter McGavin
