Hell2DaNaw.com

In an effort to increase viewing of the Big 10 Network outside of the upper-Midwest, Jim Delaney, president of the Big 10, has announced plans to add 33 schools, bringing the conference total to 44.

“We hope that by adding teams like Florida, Texas, Nebraska, USC, Harvard, and Boise State, that not only will the Big 10 be indisputably the best league, but will also become relevant and must-watch for the entire country,” Delaney said at a press conference today.

If Delaney’s proposal goes through, the Big 10, which currently stretches between Pennsylvania and Iowa along the Canadian border, would expand to the Atlantic Coast (Virginia Tech, Rutgers, Syracuse) and the Pacific Coast (Hawaii), and reach south to the Gulf of Mexico (Florida, Alabama) and Mexico (Arizona, Texas). The footprint would expand from roughly 20 million people to close to 300 million, or roughly the population of the United States.

The expansion to 44 teams would allow for the coveted playoff. In fact, there would be 4 divisions of 11 teams each, and the best record from each division would play in the 2-round playoff to decide who would play the winner of the Pac 10 in the Rose Bowl, if not the BCS title game.

“Think about it. Texas and Arkansas could return to the yearly contest their fans want. When Florida plays FSU and Miami, it’s more than just pride on the line,” Delaney smirked. “This is so clearly the best idea.”

So far, few college presidents are interested. Chancellor David McClain of Hawaii, who is related to that guy from Die Hard, said “We’ve played the Big 10 enough over the past years. They don’t even want to fly out here and play us anymore.”

We attempted to contact Delaney for a follow-up, but his secretary reported that he’s out “trying to buy that money bin from Ducktales.”