Life is good in Titletown, USA. The basketball team, led by the meanest housewife this side of the Mississippi (watch out Windy City!) is enjoying their second straight title. The football team embarrassed an overrated Ohio State team for a share of the national championship (look, we all know the REAL champions are Boise State). This Urban Meyer fella wrangled himself the top recruiting class in nation. Everything is topped by the full-time prospect of Tim “Jesus” Tebow performing at quarterback. Can the Savior bring another championship to the Swamp? Will Meyer continue his domination of the other Florida schools? However, the most important question is…
…Will this man get the grass mowed in time for summer practices???
Team: The University of Florida Gators
Location: Gainesville, FL
Stadium: Ben Hill Griffin Stadium aka “The Swamp” - Capacity - 88,548
Coach: Urban “He’s not this guy” Meyer
2006 Record/Finish: #1 Overall, National Champions, SEC Champions - 13-1 (8-1)
2007 H2DN Prediction: 9-3 (6-2 in SEC play) 2nd in SEC East
Top returner: WR Percy Harvin - I know, its not Tim Tebow, but holy shit have you seen this kid run?!
Biggest loss: Most of the defense. The only starting returnees are Derrick Harvey and Tony Joiner. Moss, Nelson, Smith, Everett and Siler are all in the NFL one way or the other and the rest graduated. They’ve got a long way to go rebuilding this unit, although its still one of the better D’s in the conference.
ESPN incessant talking point: REPEAT? TEBOW. REPEAT? TEBOW. REPEAT? TEBOW. TEBOW. TEBOW. TEBOW!
Key off-season event: The top recruiting class in the nation. Urban Meyer has proved to be a recruiting master, getting the top class in the nation in his 2nd year despite the best efforts of usual powerhouses Tennessee, USC and Texas etc.
Additional notes: This Florida team, despite its depleted defense, has the tools to make a deep run through the SEC schedule again this year. Two easy wins are expected out of the first two games at home, but will face challenge in a close loss to rival Tennessee on September 15th. UF then starts an 8 game SEC stretch which includes LSU, Kentucky and South Carolina away plus the annual game in Jacksonville against Georgia. South Carolina and coach Steve Spurrier are still one year away from beating the Gators, but preseason #2 and national champion favorites LSU will prove too much for the Gators in Baton Rouge. However, this team is strong and should come out of the SEC stretch at 8-2 with their warm-up game against Florida Atlantic. With an at-large BCS bid in mind, Florida will host the hated Seminoles in the season finale with a lot of time to get ready, but FSU will be better this year and a sure Gameday presentation will end with an upset as Bobby Bowden most likely ends his last regular season with a win over the Gators. Expect the Capital One or Outback Bowls for the postseason and a rout over whatever Big 10 team they play.
Despite the hopes and dreams of people like me, Tim Tebow will end up pretty good with better stats than Chris Leak (its not hard), but won’t be all-SEC at his position (Erik Ainge and Matt Stafford are two better QBs in the East even). Percy Harvin, however, may be the team’s All-American player by the end of the season and will probably end up with tons of awards.
Fun fact: In his deal with the devil, University President Bernard Machen recieved three national championships in two years, something any University president would be happy to see. However, taken in the deal were Machen’s testicles.
