Yo, is that that fuckin’ college preview mag? Gimme dat, I’m droppin a deuce in your shitter, need something to read. Fuck, beer always makes me shit.
Wait, what the fuck man? He’s fuckin got us in a tie for 4th in the conference? What is that? What the fuck man, everyone else has us fuckin’ winning it or in a tie for winning it. Doesn’t this asshole know how many starters we’re returning? It’s like 12, or 16 or somethin man. Lemme see, you got like the running back, quarterback, did that receiver leave? Craig somethin or other? The one that had that sick catch during that night game? That wasn’t him. Fuck it, I was so fuckin’ hammered man. God, I think I banged Amanda that night.
Wait, so that’s like 7 people on offense alone coming back. And dude, wasn’t our offensive line amazing? Dude, they were unstoppable, man. Except that one dude that had like 50 sacks against us, but he went in the draft, so there’s no way we shouldn’t be like 11-1 this year. God, he fucking drove our quarterback into the ground like… like I drove your mom in the ground. Fuckin’ right.
And then our defense has like, 6 returning stars man. Remember that one pick in that game where the dude made that sick diving catch? He was all like dives onto couch aaaah fuck you fuckers I got this fuckin ball. Oh shit, sorry man, gimme that paper towel man. I’m so so sorry man, I’m not even that fuckin’ drunk man. Fuck man, I’m sorry. Lemme make you another drink.
Man, who the fuckin shit think that we’re finishing 4th? Didn’t he watch our games? I fuckin’ watched our games. We were so fuckin’ good man. Those losses were bullshit man. If that fucking running back coulda stopped putting it on the floor we woulda fuckin’ won man. Shit, we were comin’ back at the end to, if the refs didn’t fuck us over.
Jesus, man I am so fucking pissed. I am going to HEY. HEY YOU LADIES LIKE TO PARTY? Bitches, man they wanted somma dis. Wait, who the fuck do we play? All of a big games are at home, jesus they don’t even fuckin’ know how loud we’re gonna get. That’ll be a night game, everyone’s gonna be so drunk. Awesome dude, it’s gonna be awesome. I’ll be 21 then, we can go out to the fuckin’ bars before hand. No, fuck, fuck that man, let’s just get like 80 kegs and get fucked up here man, we could play some pong or somethin.
Holy shit, football is going to be so fuckin’ awesome man.
June 17, 2007 at 5:12 pm
This is pretty much what talking to someone from ECU is like.
March 15, 2008 at 1:31 am
March 15, 2008 at 6:36 am
March 15, 2008 at 9:32 am
March 15, 2008 at 4:46 pm