If what they’re doing in the preseason is any indication, Penn State will leave opposing teams battered, bruised, and bloodied. Already, any player on the offensive side has left unsuspecting defenses destroyed, dismantled, and unable to comprehend the destruction that they couldn’t prevent.
They were led in scoring by Anthony Scirrotto, who was tied with Chris Baker in putting up 11 points on a team - no, strike that - a group of people, because clearly the defendants had no organization in the attempt to repel the massacre. More than just a scoring leader, Scirrotto was the emotional leader, helping bring the entire team together in the efforts on the Saturday in question. Scirrotto’s initiative to take charge helped propel his team, and a table, to such an unbelievable display of prowess and athleticism.
Regarding his performance, he said ‘It’s always great to go out there in front of a home crowd.’ When asked about throwing someone else’s cell phone, he said ‘You got to do what you got to do. And I had to get brutal on some guy that had a red shirt on.’
No word from officials on the exact details about the penalties, but seriously, like 30 players just beat up a bunch of people that didn’t know what was going on.
