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Editor’s Note: On the eve of the NFL Draft, H2DN presents the Third Round of our Conference Draft, as we attempt to reorganize D-1A Football. Stay tuned for more in the coming weeks!

Intro/saves
Round One Two

1 (15) ACC: I felt like I should take another ACC team here, and Georgia Tech is a solid football team who manages to do fairly well despite Chan Gailey’s best efforts to drive the team into the ground. Jon Tenuta is a genius, plain and simple, and I felt compelled to take Georgia Tech just to preserve the defensive awesomeness of having Bud Foster, Mickey Andrews, and Jon Tenuta in the same conference. Rarely does a fanbase actually look forward to a player graduating in the same way Georgia Tech fans have counted the days until Reggie Ball left the team, and now that he’s gone, I have to imagine that the Yellow Jackets can only possibly get better. A fun team to watch, not such a fun team to play, and a good fit in the new ACC.

2 (16) Big XII: The Big XII has learned one thing from studying drafts in other sports - always pick the best available prospect, regardless of your needs. Thus, the Big XII welcomes Ron Zook, his golf cart, and the Illinois Fighting Illini to the conference. We were simply shocked to see the man credited for single-handedly winning this year’s national championship fall into our lap in the third round.

3 (17) Big East: The Big East selects Clemson. The Tigers are on a bit of a downward spiral after a humiliating loss in the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl to Kentucky. But still, they were ranked as high as 11 last year, and Tommy Bowden (aka the good one) is still coaching the team. We here at the Big East need a traditional powerhouse to match with the top of the conference every year. Plus, any school the Fridge went to is alright in my book.

4 (18) MMSC: After much consideration (and delay), the mid-majors take California. Cal will bring a mixture of academics, athletics, and hippies to the Superconference. That and the Superconference Board of Directors can get a travel bulk discount with games literally on both coasts.

5 (19) Pac 10: The Pac-10 will continue to poach teams on the outskirts of their conference and select the Iowa Hawkeyes. They’ve got a fantastic (read: makes lots of money) head coach and are only two years removed from several 10-win seasons in a row. Plus, the Pac-10 has to keep taking as many midwest teams as possible, because them’s some big ol’ corn-fed boys and this conference needs more of that and less sushi-eating surfer queers.

6 (20) Big Ten: First of all, you all can kiss my ass. But, in the spirit of poaching shitty teams from other conferences, the Big Ten selects the Kansas State Wildcats. Basically I need a replacement for Northwestern, so I turn to a school that wears purple, calls themselves the Wildcats, and comes out of nowhere to win the conference once every ten years or so. Plus they’re a large state school, which fits better than some shitty urban private school.

Now it’s the SEC’s turn to make two picks, and I’ll be outside killing pigeons with a hammer.

7 (21) SEC: After thinking long and hard, and hoping my third and fourth choices will be around, the SEC separates itself from the “old” SEC, and picks some new OOC opponents:

The University of South Florida Bulls - This up and coming program will get a huge amount of help from joining the SEC. Of course, Tampa, the home of USF, has everything an SEC team needs: Bars, World-famous Strip Clubs, and plenty of Hillsborough County prisons. Orient Road has nothing to do with any Asians.