In the world of College Football, money is a key factor to success. Whether you are building new facilities, paying salaries, or buying off referees you need a lot of cash. To keep up with the ever-growing expenses of running a top tier college football program, the officials at LSU have come up with a new idea.
Generally, a big school has no problems selling out games, but for low interest non-conference match-ups the school generally must charge $10 or more less than what they would charge for other games. For schools with large stadiums, this costs nearly $1 million in ticket sales alone. The athletic officials at LSU have a way to counteract this. We caught a report out of the LSU Athletic Department about “Free Lick Her” at the non-conference games.
Wanting to know more, we called the LSU Athletic Department.
H2DN: Thanks for taking the time to talk to us. So, would you mind telling us more about this “Free Lick Her” at the non-conference football games this year?
LSU: Yessir, we are going to have free lick her at all the non-conference games. We know that most of our fans have been upset about not having lick her available before and we want them to enjoy the game. So, we decided to provide it free of charge.
H2DN: Um.. well I don’t believe I quite understand what you are talking about, sir. Could you be a little more specific?
LSU: Sure. We like to drink down here. LICK. HER.
H2DN: Ohhhh. Liquor. Got it. Thanks so much.
Now that we had cleared up the “spelling error” from the LSU officials, it was time for us to start finding a way to get tickets to what will likely be one of the top 3 non-conference games of next season. That’s right. The Middle Tennessee State vs. LSU game.
Update:
Before this article went to press, we received word that several other SEC schools are following LSU’s lead in providing some extra events to create some excitement around the non-conference games. Here is a list of a few of the things that have already come out.
Florida: Jorts Fashion Show. Check out the latest jorts fashion.
Alabama: Someone who once spoke to a guy that was a relative of a player of the Bear will give a speech titled “Why Alabama Deserves 5 More National Titles.”
Georgia: Amateur Blue Collar Comedy Tour Stand Up Halftime. Amateur redneck humorists and NASCAR fans will take the stage to give fans a funny look at the world from a Southern perspective.
Kentucky: A basketball game will be played by Kentucky Head Coach Hopefuls during halftime. Possibly also during the second half.
Tennessee: Battle of the Rocky Top Bands Competition. Nothing but Rocky Top all halftime!
Mississippi State: Clinic on how to make the cowbell even MORE annoying.
That is all that has come out for now. Check back later for more announcements as they become available!
April 23, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Auburn: Halftime “Remember when we had Bo Jackson? Remember?!” presentation
April 23, 2007 at 7:43 pm
MTSU and La Tech are the only two shitty home LSU games (VT, Florida, Steve Spurrier, Auburn, and Arkansas are the badass ones). Also, I don’t understand why you’re hating on lick her. It’s basically awesome.
April 23, 2007 at 9:41 pm
So what’s the difference between this and every other Tennessee halftime show?
April 24, 2007 at 2:37 am
Well if prot had said “quote dis if your down”, I would’ve quoted him, but as it stands, all I can say is “/\/\/\/\ THIS!!!”
April 24, 2007 at 10:39 am
Liquor? I hardly even know her!