Toss Your Cookies…or Anything Else for That Matter

March 26, 2007

By now, many of you have heard, and even scoffed, at the news that Sam Keller, a newly refurbished model from Arizona State, was attempting to find quality parking in a campus lot when a fine upstanding member of the collegiate community cut Mr. Keller off. This is not appropriate in either parking or drunken groping which, coming from ASU, I’m sure Sam has seen his fair share of. Still, much was made about Keller’s obscenities towards said wench and how he assaulted her vehicle with a deadly Dixie cup.

Sure, you say, a slow news day in Lincoln before spring practice picks up for the Scarlet and Cream, but I think what needs to be addressed here is not the scenario overall, but the action itself. Keller’s throw was actually one you might have seen on a post pattern if, for example, his receivers suddenly all turned into midgets and ran around imitating scenes from 1927 slapstick comedies. Still, the prototype for a brand new drill was born that fateful day. Read the rest of this entry »


Your Team’s Recruits Suck

March 25, 2007

Starting an annual tradition here at Hell 2 Da Naw, we have graded every team’s 2007 recruiting class. After weeks of careful deliberation, here are our top five recruiting classes.

1. Illinois. Everyone knows that Ron Zook single handedly won Florida the national championship. The only thing holding back Juice Williams in 2006 was his supporting cast, so to that end, the Zooker single-handedly willed two of his receivers to commit felony burglary charges in order to open more scholarships. Another brilliant maneuver by the master strategist. Read the rest of this entry »