This is Noel Devine, a poverty-stricken young man from the ghettos of North Fort Meyers. He holds the high-school rushing records for both yardage and touchdowns for Lee County, and with your illegal booster donations to Noel, you can help recruit him for mere thousands of dollars a day.
Noel Devine has lost both his parents. He has never known his father, who died when he was just a baby. Instead, he has been raised in foster care by Deion Sanders, who has the shame of starring in more MC Hammer videos that MC Hammer.. Surely, you can find it in your heart to donate to Noel, and help him cheat admissions to your prestigious university.
Noel can’t even afford to pick up a pencil to sign a letter of intent, since that pencil is probably stolen. His football team is a lightning rod for trouble, and without your illegal help, Noel will probably never be able to escape that quagmire.
Can’t you find it in your heart to donate? Just imagine what kind of life Noel Devine would have if rich white people wouldn’t throw money at him so he could play for two years, leaving the program just before the NCAA imposes sanctions on the school directly relating to the off-the-field problems Noel Devine will be sure to have.
But won’t that 9-3 record be worth it? Please, call today.
March 29, 2007 at 11:36 am
“Instead, he has been raised in foster care by Deion Sanders, who has the shame of starring in more MC Hammer videos that MC Hammer..”
I believe you mean “than” and sentances usually don’t end with two periods….
“Surely, you can find it in your heart to donate to Noel, and help him cheat admissions to your prestigious university.”
at your prestigious university
“Just imagine what kind of life Noel Devine would have if rich white people wouldn’t throw money at him so he could play for two years, leaving the program just before the NCAA imposes sanctions on the school directly relating to the off-the-field problems Noel Devine will be sure to have.”
This should be, at the very least, two sentances
“But won’t that 9-3 record be worth it? Please, call today.”
You shouldn’t start sentances with but, particularly paragraphs. I would suggest “Wouldn’t that 9-3 record be worth it, though?
March 29, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Are you aware that ’sentance’ is correctly spelled ’sentence’?
March 29, 2007 at 11:44 pm
ice burn
March 30, 2007 at 10:39 am
Are you aware that you were correcting his spelling, not his grammar?
March 30, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Yes. I never said I was correcting his grammar.
March 30, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Did not know Noel Devine supports were English majors.